Bilal is concerned that if they have a child, Shaeeda would 'abandon' him.
On 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After, Shaeeda and Bilal continue their conversation about having children.
Shaeeda, 37, sat down with Bilal, 42, on Sunday's program to compile a pro and con list regarding having a kid. While they've debated having children — Shaeeda is ready, while Bilal wants to take his time — they weren't holding back during their conversation.
Before the big announcement, Bilal sought to teach Trinidad native Shaeeda "how to drive in America," despite her "heavy foot."
Bilal confessed in a confessional that he had an ulterior reason for the driving lesson: "Shae and I are still trying to figure out when we should start trying for children. The results of a fertility test will be available later today. Shae, she's really worried about what it means for her, so I thought now would be a good time to take her mind off of it."
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However, the session grew confrontational when Bilal issued directions from the passenger seat that prompted Shaeeda to snap "don't shade my nation," to which he responded, "don't screw up my car."
Shaeeda admitted in her confessional that she was apprehensive while waiting for the bloodwork results — and driving didn't help.
Shaeeda reiterated their main problem as they prepared to see their doctor: "I am 100% ready to have children." She paused after mentioning her husband's name, and as he turned his entire body away, she continued, "This speaks for itself."
On the phone, the couple's doctor inquired as to where they stood "since they last spoke." He had a mixed reaction.
"I suppose we've been trying," Shaeeda said, which surprised Bilal, who exclaimed, "Trying what — she... we haven't been trying."
"When we're intimate, we use a condom, but there has been a little oopsie here and there, so the prospect of a bun in the oven may be genuine," Shaeeda confessed. "I'm trying not to give it too much energy so that Bilal doesn't notice it, so I'm keeping it low."
"We are not attempting to have any children right now," Bilal says. At all. For example, 0%."
Bilal expressed his concerns to the doctor.
"I believe a child should always provide happiness," he told the doctor. "I also know how she is; she gets emotional at times." It gives me the impression that you're going to forsake me."
"There have been instances when you don't say I want to be with you and something like that," he went on. To be honest, that stuff concerns me as well since I've been divorced before and don't want to go through it again, let alone have a child."
In a monologue, Bilal stated that the idea of having children in his present relationship with Shaeeda had crossed his mind. "It makes me pause. It doesn't make me want to run to it, but it does make me a bit wary. I'm apprehensive, to say the least."
Later in the show, Shaeeda stated, "I know Bilal loves me, but it's never a pleasant feeling to know that someone you care about doesn't truly trust you. It bothers me to think that he does not trust me enough to stay with him if we have a child together."
They began preparing a pro and con list for motherhood at the doctor's recommendation. The benefits included selfless love, but the disadvantage was increased stress.
"Babe, you get annoyed right now if you don't get 10 hours of sleep," Bilal warned Shaeeda, while she argued she could put the baby "on a program so they would simply automatically know when it's night."
Bilal factored in the ultimate cost of education and referred to Shaeeda as a "germaphobe" who may be unwilling to change diapers.
"I'm afraid of the fact that sometimes when troubles come, you want to leave for the hills," Bilal stated, while Shaeeda revealed she had uttered harsh things when upset.
"The D-word — 'done' or 'divorce' — those are words you should never pronounce," Bilal said. "I'm afraid of having children because I'm afraid you'll want to leave one day."
"My concern is that every year will be the same dialogue, time will pass, and there will be no kid," she said.
"He has been harmed before," Shaeeda stated in a confessional. Women have abandoned him. But I am not from his past. At the same time, I'm not going to spend my life without a baby, so whether or not Bilal and I continue together, I'm not going to squander my time."